Term 3 writing workshop

The workshop I chose was exploding sound with Mrs Wilburn.

My group wrote this:

I was slurping a water melon when I hit a crunchy pip.
I was crunching away enjoying my water melon when  gulp I swallowed
a couple of seeds. Slurp I was sucking the juice from the water melons.
Pit I spat some pips onto a metal wall it made a ding sound.

I wrote this:

I most enjoyed making sentences to describe sounds..

I need to work on getting more work done in the time were given